How We Created Hell For Ourselves...

Wow, what a year...

I can't begin to make sense of the transformations that have taken place, but, as always, I'm practicing surrendering to the force that guides this twisting, turning path of life. And, I'm practicing anchoring into trust, simply trusting the journey as it unfolds - with ever lessening degrees of judgment, expectation and fear.
My offerings next year will be looking quite different to 2019, and I'll send some more on that in the coming weeks...but for now it's safe to say that my work will be not only with empowering and embodying the feminine, but will also include focus on healing the masculine - and ultimately be shifting towards integration, or samalana (co-mingling) of the two.

The momentum that guides me to understand, embody and heal the feminine is not limited to myself, or even to all women. It is clear to me that all people are suffering under the shadows of our recent patriarchal times - these shadows have not just effected women, and, have not just been delivered at the hands of men. To cling to this belief is to keep us bound to a place where no progress can be made - a black and white place of victim and perpetrator. For the sake of clarity, the patriarchal shadows include, but are not limited to racism, slavery, religious orthodoxy, war, gender bias and homophobic behaviour in all it’s extremes and subtleties.

The feminine is calling to be heard, calling for re-empowerment…and I’ve listened, deeply to this call - in fact, I’ve been dedicating myself to this for the last 10 years. And, I have witnessed countless breakthroughs and transformations in the hundreds of women I have been lucky enough to work with. I’m not sure one could ever come to the bottom of this kind of work, it grows and swells and guides me from a deep and ancient place, always. However, listening in now, I can feel a different pulse running alongside this current. A vastly different, even opposite energy that is now calling for my attention. And of course it is, the energy of the masculine has been equally damaged, or wounded by the imbalance of power, the dynamic that has brought us to this place of great disconnection that humans are experiencing - disconnection to ourselves - our bodies, our hearts - disconnection to each other, and devastatingly for the future of our own existence, disconnection to nature and the Earth.

If you know me, you will know that I’m not interested in blaming, I’m interested in the truth. I’m always using the events and experiences of my own life to shine a light on how I can personally take more responsibility for my own situation, and how that might be reflected in the broader collective - the microcosm within the macrocosm. I’m curious to understand exactly what it is we are experiencing now, and i’m curious to know exactly how it is we came to be here - both personally and collectively - spiritually and historically.

If this exploration has a goal, it is that we can progress on our journey into a unified place, a place that values each individual, in whatever balance of masculine, feminine and neutral energies they possess. This exploration is consuming me at present.

Recently, someone who knows me well reflected that I am highly analytical, and, after analysing this reflection for a few days (!), I’ve decided that I’m surrendering to allow the gift of it. It is, unfortunately natural to let this tendency fall into the shadow - picking apart behaviours and relationships in a way that perhaps fuels disconnection. So, with this in mind, I hope to use this natural tendency to be of service, that through my analysing nature we might understand ourselves a little better, that in that understanding we might return to a natural one-ness, an inclusivity and an honouring of both the masculine and feminine in all people. That we could stop this patriarchal idea that one thing is right, or good, and another is bad, or wrong.

So, I want to get to the bottom of why and how and when the Patriarchy took over, I want to understand and honour the gifts that have come with it, as well as acknowledging and witnessing the deepest wounds and the darkest shadows that have shaped our current experience, and effected us all - our men as well as our women, and of course, everyone who identifies beyond binary gender, and who are, finally, and thankfully, finding a more supportive environment to explore personal identity.

As a (very important) side note, as I’ve sat with my research these last weeks, analysing and seeking truth, there has been a constant buzzing reminder of the incredible gifts these last 4000 years of Patriarchy have bestowed upon my current experience - it is so important for me to acknowledge just how much of my life is possible because of it. Not only the laptop that I write on and the books that I read from, but the comfortable, safe home that I sleep in and the availability of fresh food and clean water at my fingertips...the fact that I'm here at all, without disease, that my kids are in school and I have places to teach Yoga and planes that take me to amazing places... the list is endless, I could go on… I feel this deeply, I am so grateful for the constant privilege of my experience, my life - all possible because of the incredible systems, institutions and organisation made possible by the patriarchy.

As we dissolve out-dated and unhealthy structures and begin to see the dawning of a new age, bringing consciousness to the gifts of the patriarchy is massively important. This consciousness is a steady companion in my analysis, and in my quest for truth…

In order to get from 1 to 4, we must pass through 2 and 3. There's a lot of emotional energy to address in these middle places. A lot that has been suppressed in the violation and mutilation of the healthy feminine and masculine energies. Whilst the big energy of anger is necessary to fuel the equally big changes that still need to be made to bring equality, justice and unity to our planet, what I’m witnessing is a misplaced rage, aimed at men instead of individuals - aimed at men instead of at the Patriarchy.

We’re all suffering. We all need to heal. It’s up to us to embody the change and start to work towards a new order that is neither matriarchy or patriarchy, but that has learned the best of both, and left behind the parts that no longer serve, for good.

Below is a little exploration of the dawning of the patriarchy, and how we created Hell for ourselves, historically.

I am sharing this here in the hope that we might understand ourselves a little better as we all navigate this changing world, together.

It is widely accepted that once upon a time, perhaps 3500 years ago, practically all of the world's agriculturally-based societies were matriarchal. Archeological evidence of this goes back more than 25,000 years. It can be surmised that in general, these matriarchal societies tended to be more peaceful, art-and-craft oriented. In Matriarchy, the women held the roles of leader, priestess, healers and seers. Land and and possessions belonged to, and was passed down to the next generation through the mother, primarily to the daughters. Women were expected to choose their own mates, for either a brief time or for longer periods, monogamy was not expected. Throughout much of the world, matriarchy was the way all primitive agricultural peoples ran their communities. In these times men were celebrated for their strength, consistency and their ability to protect the women when they were in vulnerable stages of their creative cycle (eg pregnant, with infant, or menstruating). There is common iconography in statues and carvings across the world from this time, that clearly point to the worship of the Earth, and it’s rhythms, in the form of a woman. Just as the Earth produces life, so to do women, and it was widely understood that survival (eg the health and abundance of the crops) was dependent on the honouring and devotion to the Goddess.

To understand how this all changed, we turn our attention to the Norse people - the Vikings. Long before they were known as Norse, these people were known as the Kurgans, and the all powerful Earth Goddess was known as He-el, and was the primary deity, sovereign Queen of fertility.

This kind of Matriarchal community system does possibly seem ideal, from where we sit now, but what was to happen if your peaceful existences were threatened? What was to happen if the land you lived on became barren, or your supplies were burned, or flooded, or destroyed in some other way? The attitude of the feminine is to surrender to nature, surrender to chaos - accepting death and decay in the same way that you accepted thriving and abundance. The attitude of the masculine, however, is to create systems, safety and stability.

The ancestors of the Nordic people are known to be the first of the European/ Middle Eastern communities to give up the matriarchal worship in favour of the patriarchy. Hitler and Neitszche both considered these peoples to be the "True Aryans", the original Germanic people. The early North-Central Russian (Kurgan) and Caucasus tribes that eventually became the Slavic, Nordic, Germanic, and Teutonic tribes made the switch to Patriarchy as early as 5000-7000 BC, long before any others. They are also credited with bringing the idea of patriarchy to the Near and Middle Eastern, Egyptian, Persian, Sumerian, and many other peoples.

Historians don’t seem able to agree on when exactly they changed from matriarchy to patriarchy, as so few records have been found. It was probably quite gradual, small changes taking several generations to pass through. The common historical viewpoint is that sometime during the end of the last Ice Age, life became very challenging. The Earth was changing- there were often earthquakes, big glaciers were moving around, food was scarce- and the tribes were not pleased by the constant reminder of their that powerlessness under nature. It’s easy to speculate that they became hostile, determining that their system of religion wasn't working for them, and decided to make some big changes. These tribes, over the space of perhaps 3000 years, began to worship Thunder and Sky gods, placing an authority above the Earth. This is most likely the beginning of the ancient Norse and Viking belief that the Gods lived in the Northern Lights, the Aurora Borealis, and is an incredibly pivotal moment in time - the source of the human idea that Patriarchal Spirituality rests upon - that Spirit and Matter are separate - that God and the Earth are divided, that nature, and the human limitation is something to be over come, even conquered.

It is said that the Kurgans were aggressive and violent, riding in horse drawn chariots and generally, wreaking havoc on their more peaceful southern neighbours, the first war is recorded around 4300 BC. Their camps were filled with foreign females, suggesting that they took the women as slaves, killing the men and children. It could be interpreted (and most often is) that the aim was to completely stamp out the bloodlines and religions of the conquered, and replace them with their own. They either married the defeated priestesses to their own princes, or, completely destroyed the temples and forced the priestesses into harems. If a prince-priestess marriage would yield a son, he would then take over the power of the community leadership instead of his father taking control.

This is how Goddess-based religion was destroyed the world over. The male deity (the conquering prince) was married to or born from the Goddess (the community High-Priestess), removing her from power and taking her place. And, just like that everything was irrevocably changed; no more Goddess worship, no more females in power, no more female rights to possession or advancement or family artefacts, estates, or power. Usually this switchover would take only a few generations to accomplish- it was swift, and deadly to the ones who clung to the "older" path. This was also the way that Christianity managed to take hold - dispersing with much of the goddess-worshipping sect- by implying that Jesus was the son of the almighty and omnipresent God, but was born here on earth, of a human woman…he came from her, and in this way he could assume her power. Still today, even the most powerful Christian sect still reveres the female that gave birth to their God. Early Catholicism kept Mary Mother of Jesus around because it was easier to convert and integrate “heathens” to a church that already had female symbolism present than to expect them to give up everything they were familiar with. In effect, The Catholic Church never truly denounced goddess-worship, and it is still being practiced, only to a lesser degree and in different ways.

Back to the Nords…

It is impossible to know exactly what triggered it, but at some point, the energy of the masculine rose, and the Nordic people (women as well as men) decided what they had was not enough, that they wanted more wealth, more land…more everything, and they began a new way of life. They began focussing on getting stronger, training as warriors and accumulating territories by force. The women, if they wanted to, fought alongside the men, and for a time at least, held a similar power and respect as they did before. With focus turning to expanding strength and warrior discipline, the Norse began to primarily worship Odin and Thor. To address the Great Goddess He-el, they had her split into many names, fragmenting and diluting her power into many Goddesses, who could assume roles as wife, or mother, or sister, taking a secondary position in the Norse pantheon.

Recently, discoveries were made in archeological sites in Russia, consisting of female warrior graves complete with horses - perhaps the legendary Valkyries, and some other sites where the inhabitants of the graves appear to be almost entirely female royalty (with no evidence of male counterparts) dating back to roughly 2500-2000 BC, and the existence of the Seidre - nomadic Nordic Shamans, who go back several thousand years and were almost exclusively female until around 200 -500 A.D. It is said they received their special power and ability from the earliest form of the Goddess - widely understood as Freyja, but more likely, in my opinion, earlier still, from He-el. This was before Odin was even a demi-god, yet for two thousand years or more Odin has been given credit for being the primary discoverer of Runes and the abilities of astral sight and travel, and said to have given them “as gifts” to the Seidre. Obviously these traits had been around for at least 3000-4000 years, and the ancient matriarchal wisdom of the Goddess was kept by the Seidre.

It seems the Goddess wasn’t going down as quickly as they might have liked…

In a miraculous grab for power, Odin is credited with having the extraordinary ability of being able to change his gender at his own discretion. Perhaps the earliest gender fluidity on record, and conveniently negating the idea that a female Goddess had previously been more important. Interestingly, here in the Norse Pantheon we again see the typical pattern of patriarchal takeover- the male god Odin is born from, or marries the female head goddess Freyja (also known as Niartha or Nerthus). Freyja is said to be constantly wandering, searching for her husband Odhr, who (surprise!), is also her brother - Odin (yes I’m confused too). What’s important here is that the female deity is given the lengthy and mundane task of tracking down her husband, while the male deity is able to assume power and take over from her. The deeds previously attributed to the female goddess become credits of a male deity. Suddenly the whole pantheon is male-dominated- and the community that followed them becomes that way as well, with few exceptions…

The Goddesses - Frejya, Frigg, Idun, to name a few, became accepted and compliant. But He-el loomed over, uncomfortably, as a reminder of their matriarchal past and their comparative weakness.

He-el did not fit into the new Norse order of things, and drastic measures were called for. Marrying her off was not proving effective, her energy was too powerful. So in a stroke of controlling genius, He-el was allowed to keep her power, but was to yield it out of sight, down in the underworld, where she would remain forever as the Queen of the dead. Swiftly, He-el became simply Hel. Her power continues to swell, as even today, "going to Hell” is still a popular catch phrase, regardless of your standing with religion.

Most importantly, this idea that there was a dark place out of sight, a separate space for death, for shadow, is the next hugely significant step, after the split between Spirit and Earth in the complete systematic shift from matriarchal, earth worshipping one-ness, to dualistic, patriarchal Spiritual worship.

In the much earlier, matriarchal time of He-el, everything was one, everything was included, the dark and the light were not differentiated. Death, famine and natural disaster were accepted as part of the natural cycle. But in the creation of Hell, we were given a boundary in which to live and die, an idea of what was good or bad, and with this, the expectation that the power of the feminine in it’s extreme, was to be feared, associated with darkness, and avoided at all costs.

In this way, Hell was created by the patriarchy, and both men and women have been receiving the wounds and the damage of it for (roughly) the last 4000 years.

I believe that it's possible the uprising feminine will save the planet.

But it’s not a gender mission. It's a healing that can only take place with the support of the masculine, healthy, balanced and integrated with love, compassion and equanimity.

It's a healing that must first take place within our selves.

May you be grounded to the earth and open hearted in your unfolding awakening,

Hari Om Tat Sat
Uma